One for my Teachers

I was a strange kid.

No. Not kidding. I was really weird. 

*

4th Grade.

Hindi class. 

We all just finished a Hindi class test. Our teacher Mrs. Vandana Joshi had a surprise for us. 

"I won't be checking your copies today, you all are big kids. You can swap notebooks and check your partner's copies. And, you can use pens to check. The correct answers are on the board."

The whole class erupted with joy. We could use pens! In class 4, that was a BIG deal. I swapped my notebook with Nisha, my partner. I remember neither of us being great in hindi,  (at that time at least).  

So, seeing that Nisha was far from scoring top marks (Sorry Nish!), after every mistake I circled, I'd write a note of encouragement or drew a smiley face. Nisha was doing the same thing in mine; as I too was nowhere nearing average scores. We both peeked in our respective copies and saw what we were doing. In order to out-do the other ... our remarks and cartoons started from cute, to encouraging, to downright pathetic...

"Don't worry..be happy".

"This is not the last test, you'll score next time!"

"Live and let live"

"Every dog has its day..."

We scribbled and scribbled. In the end there were more remarks than test-material. We, really proud of what we had done, went to Vandana ma'am to get the 'test' signed. Waiting for praises to shower on us, we saw her jaw drop.

Result: We were sent to the Sr. Kg class next door. Vandana ma'am sent us to observe and learn how to behave and stay there till we'd learnt something. 

What I learnt: Never enroll yourself in the same school your sibling goes to. That was Rati's Sr. Kg class. The minute she saw me walking in, the little dweeb had to go, "Minnnnnnieeeeeee!!! That's my sister!! What are you doing here? Are you punished? Look my sister and her friend got punished!!" 

I never heard enough of it.

*

Now that I think about the things I did and they way I used to act, I feel stupid. I was strangely inquisitive and I had to touch everything! It was like an obsessive compulsion for me to know stuff. My repertoire boasts of breaking cameras, stopping escalators, messing with show pieces, casually wandering off somewhere and 'forgetting' to come back home... But the reason behind all these antics was just one- I was inquisitive and I loved to observe stuff. Very "Ooh, what does this button do?!". Everything I did was always with some good intention but they never always turned out that way.I feel sorry for the people who put up with me- My parents and my teachers. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank them for putting up with my weirdness. Well, there was little that my parents could do... after all I was their child, so they had to live with my eccentricity. But I'm amazed how my teachers put up with me.

I was the kid who chatted with people in the middle of class, who skipped and did not walk to class, who put her hand up to answer  and then forget what the question was, who would completely zone out and would stare into space. Yup, that was me... till 9th grade. There was so much going around me I found it hard to concentrate on one thing happening inside class. Ugh. 

I was always in trouble especially with Aruna ma'am (my Science teacher till class 5. I think she taught us biology in class 6 too), Vandana Ma'am (Hindi), Noopur Ma'am (English, History/Civics/Eco), Ashu Ma'am (Hindi- higher classes), Uma ma'am (Maths), Anup Sir (Chem), Alka Ma'am (Physics),... Parthiv Sir (Games)... Okay  lets just say I was trouble for everyone. 

*

Dipali ma'am, our librarian took us for our first field trip to Mt.Abu. It was a 10 day trip. 10 days with 3rd graders. We drove her crazy and she would scream her lungs out at us! But she'd also tend to our injuries (Yeah, that would be me again... i fell off  trees, scraped myself a dozen times and had volcanic nosebleeds) and would sing "Itnee shakti hame de na dataa..." for us at night. Even now when I hear that song, I think of Dipali ma'am. Yeah, Mt. Abu was a memorable trip.  

(Now I also understand why she would sing that song... she needed all the "shakti" she could get!)

*

But all the mistakes that were pointed out to me and corrected; and all the encouragement I got from  my teachers made a huge difference in my life. I may have been a messed up kid, but i was really sorted as a teenager- which is actually when most people go crazy. No one was harsh on me... but they weren't too easy on me either and frankly, I prefer that because I'm happy the way I've turned out. My teachers have really helped me (knowingly/ unknowingly) to become what I am. 

Even during college. I have a great relationship with my teachers (even now). I was never disrespectful to any of my teachers. It would be all fun and games. From swapping food with Anil Sir to pointless arguments with Hegde sir, from gossiping with Meghna Ma'am to cracking jokes with Goldin ''saar''. 

After a spell of non-attendance, I turned up to college one day and my post-grad teacher Jai Ma'am  said, "Thank God  you turned up today, this place was getting really dull without you around!" And that made my day... !!

So this is for all my teachers... 

Sorry for being an absolute annoying-pain-in-the-neck and thank you for everything :)

Happy teachers day!! 

                                                                  

 *

Third year BSc. 

Mithibai College

Papiya Ma'am was collecting her notes from the table in the lab.

Sowmya, Palak and I were standing outside the lab. Peeking from the door.

Sowmya: Should we ask her? This feels weird. 

Palak: I don't think people do this, usually.

Me: Oh, Come on! It'll be rude, if we don't. And it won't be right.

Ma'am came outside the lab and gave us a searching look.

Sowmya: Ma'am its your lecture.

Ma'am: Yes, yes. I'm coming to class. Go on. I'll be there.

None of us move.

Palak: (Looks at me..) Ma'am we..um...

Me: (Blurting out) We want to watch a movie. We were wondering if we could bunk your class.

*Silence*

Ma'am: (Coming out of her initial shock, since when have students started taking permission to bunk class?) Absolutely not. You're sitting for my lecture.

And she practically steered us back to class,while Sowmya muttered "Devyani and her great ideas..."

With 15 minutes for the lecture to end and 20 minutes for the movie to start, Ma'am asks us, "Which movie?"

"The Dark Knight" we say in unision.

"Ok. Mark your attendance and go." 

Marking our attendance and giving the others smug looks we fly off to the movie hall. 

*

Dad VS Me: EduKayShann

I have been really blessed to have studied out of great institutions during my student life (I've just suddenly realized that, now that my student life is coming to an end).

School: DPS Ahmedabad. (Delhi Public School- for all the morons who don't know what DPS stands for)

Jr + Degree College: Mithibai College, Mumbai

Post-Grad: The Institute of Science, University of Mumbai, Mumbai

I am really Happy with my educational line up. Its pretty impressive, actually and yeah I'm being a bit boast-y... but hey, its true! All these places have tremendous "name" value (Don't ask me what that is). And its really been a pleasure being a part of these institutions - The first two actually. The third one...ummm...? At Isc Mumbai... Its been just hilarious. More about that later.

My dad's school line up is pretty amazing too. His schooling years were spent at the local pathshaala, which I, for some time imagined to be under a banyan tree in some remote village of Uttar Pradesh. (I was right about the 'remote village in U.P'). His school was a very basic one, where the 'Masterji' was strict and would frequently whip the the boys with a 'sannti' ( an extremely thin cane). Furthermore, the student who was to face the wrath of the sannti, was made to choose from a selection of sannties or at times was made to go pick one out fresh from the tree outside the classroom. Dad says the thicker the sannti, the better...It hurt less. Yeah, I feel bad when I listen to his school stories. I always picture dad as the bechaara, quiet geek sitting in the corner and all he wants to do is study. I bet dad was the class nerd and homework was it favorite pastime.

Dad went on further to study at the AMU (Aligarh Muslim University) where he completed his Bachelors, masters and his Ph. D. Now that, is pretty awesome. He studied amongst the greats there. He met his guide who invited him to study in Australia and at Curtin University of Technology, Perth, he completed his Post Doc.

So why am i writing my dads biodata here? well its just a comparison his schools and the schools of today- my schools. And he feels students nowadays are in a way better position, as teachers are much better now.

Right...

Heres a conversation Dad and I had today over our schooling. Dialogue time!! :)

So here I am drooling over the computer, oogling at the new Canon SX30 IS (new line digicam) and begging dad to consider buying it for me.

DAD: Why do you want it? You already have an SLR?!

ME: Arrey! We need a new digi anyways, we'll give the old one to Rati. And My SLR has hardly any zoom. I can't take bird photographs when I'm on field.

MOM: On Field!! Tum bade on field jaa rahi ho!

ME: Its high time you accepted that fact mom. Its gonna be my job. Thats what I'm gonna do.

DAD: So you can identify birds?

ME: Of course I can! What do you think?!

DAD: Bachoo, You know who I studied with at the AMU?

DAD (AND I, Simultaneously): Dr. Salim Ali

DAD: Yes, he was the head of the Zoology Dept. Absolutely crazy about birds. Mad.

ME: Well, I'am crazy about birds too!

MOM: NO beta, you're just crazy.

ME (Giving a 'Mom...Please?' look to mom , then turning to dad): No i'm serious!

DAD: (Still going on about Dr. Salim Ali): what a great person! Hardworking, Intelligent and an absolute legend!

ME: Fine! The institute (my pg college) has a great alumni too!

DAD:(laughing) Who?

ME: (Proudly): Dr. Homi Bhabha.

DAD: Who?

MOM: Hehe... He doesnt know.

ME (Incredulously): Arrey Homi Bhabha...Bhabha! BARC!

DAD: Of course I know! Accha... From the institute?

ME: Yup!

DAD: Okay...Who else?

ME: Who else?! Is this a competition?

DAD: Bolo bolo...

Okay, however 'great' my college is, it is no match to AMU. Both of us knew that.

ME: I don't know.

DAD (Enjoying this now): 'Some great science person's name' studied out of AMU, he was my senior. (this was followed by 2-3 more names.)

ME: My college is 94 years old. (Smug smile)

DAD: HAH! My college was established in around 1750! WE have a board to prove it.

ME: So what?

DAD: One of the faculty members of AMU, later went on to be the Governor of Bihar.

ME: The person who started the EVS department in our college, was the Pro-Vice Chancellor.

DAD: Hahaha! Bas? We were taught by Dr. D 'Something' and Dr 'Forgot his name' - both amazing lecturers....something about Curtin Uni.... David 'Some person's' lecture. He could speak from 8am to 5 pm, with as few as 4 breaks, lasting 5 minutes each....Something about water and glasses'... recorded his lecture tapes... the Girl was called Victoria, and i borrowed the lecture tapes from her.

You listen to such lecturers talk and you can't help but wonder, how can they speak like that.

ME: (I'm tired of the best college competition...so have given up, and we all know ISc is nothing as compared to AMU, even now) : Hahaha! you listen to my teachers, you'll start wondering too. Not in the same way though... hehehe

DAD: You feel, as if you're transported to a separate world!

ME: Yeah, I i really wish that'd happen.

DAD: You feel as if you're out of this world.

ME: We feel out of our minds.

DAD: Such greatness!

ME: Such lameness.

DAD: Betaa...aise nahi bolte.

ME: Our Director said, "Welcome to Annual day ten thousand twenty" during his speech on annual day.

DAD: Insaan se galti hoti hai. People make mistakes.

ME: Thrice?

DAD: Oh God. Thrice?

MOM: Enough. Mini, clean your room.

ME: Mom, what about your college?

Mom's studied out of G.B Panth Univeristy of Agriculture and Technology, Uttarakhand- both Under and Post grad- Mass Communication in Agriculture.

DAD (Jokingly): Arrey, wahhan kahan kuch hoga.

MOM (Menacingly): I.said. Enough.

End of topic.

Mom wins.

The Parent Trap

Am i treading in troubled waters?? Naah...
(Boy...i am so screwed!)

And this one's a bit long...you have been warned...



Well Hello...again!

Here I am with another anecdote from my ‘very interesting’, admirable, attention-attracting, motivating, appealing, moving ,exciting, fascinating, mesmerizing, thrilling, gripping, compelling , riveting, enthralling and not to miss outrageously amusing life.

(Whew!! I’ve poured my entire vocabulary in these two lines! Good then, you can learn new words from here…then you cant say my blog’s a waste of time!!).

Its great to know people like what im doing here and its even better to know that finally people are laughing 'with' me and not 'at' me.(Whatcha sayin??You're laughing at me? Heheh...very funny! Go ahead then! lol-Laugh out loud!)



Anyways...Lets Rap...



Well last time I said parents are the last people you should take on 'trying' occasions- such as examinations, interveiws...the works...You take 'em along for 'moral' support and end up...well...loosing yourself.

[Please note that I am choosing my words carefully...v e r y carefully].

You are already anxious, tensed and ready…to run out whenever you get the chance. Your parents are even more anxious and exceedingly tensed and ready to sprint from the vicinity as soon as you enter your examination/interview room. Dunno bout your parents…but my parents really get worked up during my examinations (Why? Wish I knew…on the other hand…I'm fine without knowing…) especially my dad.

Picture this…

My 12th std board examinations. First paper- English.

I wasn’t nervous…at all. Not because it was English, strangely, I wasn’t nervous for any of my exams (Not even Physics!). I got up at 8.30 in the morning, the exam started at 11.00 am and the center was a half an hour drive away from our house- I had plenty of time for a quick revision.
Dad, as my mom told me, got up at 5.00 am. It seems he was waiting for the newspaper. This was weird. Dad never got up so early except when he had to catch a flight or something. I was too busy getting ready than thinking about my dad’s break in routine.

10.00 am, time to leave. I am slowly munching on my mom’s yummy Pohe. Dad is not eating. After mom pleads (and yells) does he have a bowl of cornflakes. After gulping his food, he sits and reads the newspaper for the fourth time. I close my book and continue eating

“Why did you close it?? Are you prepared?” he asks me.
“What? English? Oh yeah…” I continue eating.

He sits down next to me, twiddling his thumbs. I know what’s coming next…

“Check and recheck your paper at the end, draw a line after every answer, write neatly. Take as many supplements as you want…but write neatly! And don’t…”
“…leave the examination hall till the final bell rings… I know, I know!! Chill out dad” I finish
. “ I don’t like your attitude, it means you are not taking your exams seriously.”
“Dad these are board exams…it doesn’t get any serious than this!”
“Are you tensed?”
“Me? No way”
“Good.”

Its time to leave. Dad is pacing up and down the gallery. He’s coming to drop me to the exam center. Mom’s giving me the traditional 'Dahi-cheeni' for good-luck. I open my mouth for the yummy & sweet yoghurt.

“Do you want more betaa?”
“No mum…but I think dad needs it more than I do!”

We both laugh. Dad gets angry…

“We are getting late…!”

We take an auto rickshaw to the center. In the auto, Dad performs a ‘surgery’ on his mobile phone, opening it up, cleaning all the small parts in it and putting it back together.
We reach well in time. We are surrounded by kids doing their last minute revision. I, to much of Dad’s annoyance, am not revising.

“Why aren’t you revising?
“I'm prepared dad…”
“You’ve done everything”
“Yup…everything I could”

Wrong answer…

“What do you mean by ‘could’?”

A group of seven kind stand in front of us in a circle, poring over a textbook asking random questions. At every question they ask, my dad shoots a glance at me…expecting me to know the answer.

“Who’s the author of …”

“Who’s the poet of…”

“What was the reason behind…”

A very frantic looking girl asked ,” What’s the difference between a noun and a verb?”

“You’ve gotta be kiddin me!"I speak in an undertone. Dad hears me.

“Do you know it?”
“Dad…puhleeze!”

The bell rings, it’s just a warning bell.
I'm as cool as a cucumber. Dad’s a nervous wreck.
He wishes me luck and leaves.

Students are clearing off, leaving for their rooms. My room is on the ground floor. I put my bag in and come out again. I glance around, sneaking a look at the other parents with their kids. Some were advising their kids just like my dad was advising me. Some were un-concerned. Half of the kids didn’t bring along their parents.

I spotted a peculiar looking girl sitting on a bench with her mom. Who was more nervous? I don’t know. The girl was almost in tears shuffling around what looked like 5 kilograms of papers and books. Her mother (I could tell so because of the clear resemblance), wearing a formal business suite, was talking on the cell phone, carrying 8-12 files and shuffling through a official looking, leather bound book - near hysterics- and it clearly had nothing to do with her daughter’s examination.

“Poor girl” I thought.

The bell rings. As I turn towards my class, I hear a car door slam. A kid was running in from the gate, with 3-4 books in his hand, in full speed. Running equally fast was his father.

The boy, I guess, had to go up the stairs so he increases his speed. His dad follows suite.

I hear the boy thundering up the stairs. The guard stands in front of the running father’s way as parents aren’t allowed inside the premises.
The father was running in top speed and seeing a sudden obstacle (the guard) standing in front of him, makes a sudden U-turn and without stopping runs back out of the gate!!

I laugh…So does dad.

Where did he come from??

“I thought you left”
“No…not yet. Why aren’t you going inside?”
“I was just leaving.”
“Good luck and All the best”
I smile, “Thanks dad”

I am happy. I'm better off than most of the people here.Dad’s not tensed anymore (for the time being…)
Now for that English paper…

****************************************************************************
I slam the door, and tell Mom,

“This is the last time Dad is coming with me for an exam."

I see dad laughing.

3 months after my boards. I had just come back from Belapur (On the outskirts of Mumbai) after giving my AIEEE exam, which I was compelled to give. I gave it (in the words of my father) “to see the level of difficulty in all India exams”. But after what had happened to me in the morning…Ahhhh!

We were late. Really late.
Still, dad insisted to go by train

“You are going to miss the exam, go by taxi and come back by train” Mom said.
“Arrey, trains are the fastest mode of transport in Mumbai. We are going by train.”
“Do what suits you then.” Mom says, giving up.

We reach Kurla station by rickshaw. My dad was insisting that we take a bus till there! After me making quite a scene at the bus-stop did he oblige to my ‘request’.
It was 10.00 am and the exam started at 11.00am. Reporting time was 10.45am. The ticket line was half a kilometer long.
I was the nervous wreck this time. There is a lot of difference in not wanting to give an exam and not being allowed to give an exam. We get the tickets at 10.15 am.

“How much time does it take to reach Belapur by train?
“You’ll reach in time, don’t worry” Dad says, avoiding my gaze.

Not good…

We can see a train moving in towards the platform. It hardly halts for 10 seconds. Its ‘overly-over crowded’. I don’t even get to see the compartment. We miss the train. Its 10.30am by the way…

“I'm going to miss the exam…I know it…”

My friend calls me up on dad’s phone.

“Where are you” she asks
“You don’t wanna know…”
“Shut up and tell me…”
“Kurla”
“WHAT!? You know the exam is starting in…”
“…half an hour…I know…”
Not knowing what to say, she says, “Well...Umm...All the best”
“Yeah…if I reach there…thanks!”

Another train comes in. I'm ready to pounce in no matter what. So is dad.
The train stops, we push ourselves in. I get in the ladies compartment. Dad couldn’t get in the gents compartment, so he gets in the luggage compartment.

Wrong decision

The luggage compt. carries luggage (Duh!), fruits and vegetables' vendors with their wares and other stuff.
Today’s special?
FISH.
Dad is a vegetarian.

Uh oh…

He can’t stand the odor of fish. So he very promptly jumps off!! The train is moving. My insides go dry. I'm spluttering like a gold-fish out of water. He is standing on the platform. Smiling and waving at me!

“Why??!!” I shout

Dad not accompanying me wouldn’t have been a big deal. It was a big deal then because I did not know where the exam center was!

“Why does it always have to be me!!??” I cry out.
Its 10.45am

A kind lady lends her cell phone to me (I didn’t have one then….). I call dad. I couldn’t get thru to him for the first ten minutes, when I finally do, his message to me was short.

“Get off at Nerul, one station before belapur”

I was left hello-ing.

Its 11.00 am and I'm at Nerul waiting for dad. I see him getting of a train and both of us run full throttle to the exit.

“Don’t talk just run” Dad said when he saw me open my mouth demanding an explanation.

We take an auto and reach the exam center at 11.15am.
There was a tall staircase in front of me. Parents of other kids were standing on both sides.
Many of them shouted,

“Run Run…!”
“Go...Fast….!”
"Hurry up..."

It felt as if I was running in a marathon. I pictured myself running in slow motion…up the stairs…halfway through…I was winning…until…

I fell.

I bruised a knee. I could hear gasps behind me. I hobbled on, cursing the stairs to my allotted room.
I wasn’t the only one late that day. So it wasn’t a big deal after all.


“Don’t ask me how the exam was” I said when I saw dad after the exam.
“I'm not asking” he said.

We trudged along to the station again. I started complaining.
“I promise you, this is the starting piont, we’ll get an empty train.”

The train stopped at the platform. Dad went of to the gents compartment and me to the ladies’. It wasn’t empty, I didn’t get space to sit. But I could breathe.

Famous last words

At Nerul, I swear the entire population of Mumbai got in that compartment. I was pushed against the wall and I had no idea where I was. I remember myself standing near the doorway on the left. After 3 stations, I was standing on the right hand side door. Totally squashed.

3 stations left to Kurla…

I had to make my presence felt. I started shouting.

“Mujhe kurla par utarna hai!” (I have to get off at Kurla!)

No one listened. There were kids shrieking, women shouting, fighting and yelling.
Hell would be better I thought.

Finally at kurla, I was pushed out (A few aunties were very kind to do the pushing part.).
I fell on my knees on the station…

“Land!!” I cried “And I'm alive!!”

A few people actually thought that I had fallen down so they help me up. I see dad and we frantically search for the exit.
We came out of the station. Dad says,

“There’s the bus stop. C’mon”

I give my dad a piercing stare (and no, I'm not smiling….)

“Don’t even think about it…”

We go home in an auto rickshaw. Alive.