Here and there...

Everything was so much better when we were kids. Seriously. And I know you will agree. I never remember being much of a kid actually. I was always the "big girl".(in age...and size maybe...lol) The person who rarely made mistakes...and is expected not to make any, the epitome of poise and the one who sets an example for their younger sibling...( whoever has met my sibling, will figure out tht either she hasn't learnt anything from me or I haven't taught her anything.The latter being completely untrue...)
I remember first meeting my Grandma at the age of 5, right after we landed in India after spending 4 years in Australia. Since then I was told about the responsibilities of a "big girl". "Minnie you are 5 years old...a big girl...you shouldn't behave this way", "A 6 year old big girl does not talk on the dining table so loudly".This went on..7,8,9,10.....19.
Even with all this big girl talk, I stole quite a few moments of childishness, which I have thoroughly enjoyed. Like for instance (this is totally disgusting) having burping contests with my sister (She ALWAYS won!) , digging up my uncle's entire vegetable garden...even uprooting his prized tomato plants, breaking my grandpa's camera by "accident"( I was just curious!!) and Oh yeah...this is fun...always being the one to blow out the candles off a birthday cake...irrespective of whose birthday it was...even my neighbours' !
But in all the process of growing up, I kind of "grew out" of these habits and I kind of miss them too!! Seriously...tell me...don't you ever feel like scooping up a huge bunch of icing off a cake when placed before you,( before its cut)...and just eating it off your finger!? Don't you miss that weird sound that comes out when you stand too close a cooler/ fan and speak in it? Or Making drums out of buckets and vessels and plates and give the performance of your life? Or try licking off that irritating drop of ice-cream or milkshake off your nose with your tongue in public? Ahh...!! Childhood! Innocence...and how I miss it!
We live in a society, which expects us to "behave ourselves", laugh softly in public, talk softly on the phone, keep our elbows off the dining table at dinner, follow etiquette better than the constitution. Sorry, please, thank you, greetings impresses me sometimes not always. Innocence is lost, forever i think. Its been replaced by "poise", "manners", "class", "falseness". I think we need to loosen up a bit. Okay...a lot. By saying this I don't mean we shouldn't be civilized at all.
(We need to be civilized too...not to spit everywhere you see a wall,Stay cordial with all human beings,Not to pick up a fight at the drop of a hat, not to bet on the outcome of the fight, help an old lady cross the street, say "excuse me" when you burp...I was crossing the road the othr day and this guy he burped in my ear...THAT was totally disgusting and he didint ever turn around and say sorry!!...amongst a million of other things!)
We just need to "cut some slack, off ourselves". Not talk business everyday 24x7. Mean it when we say chill out. You might be wondering why I'm writing this. Well its been building up and i don't see no reason "why" i shouldnt. I know someone whos put their 8 year old in an etiquette class. Dude, I don't even know how to spell this (God bless the inventor of spellcheck!) .
People are tutoring their children to be robots. Tightassed (sry fr the language) people of tomorrow who havn't seen daylight. I asked a kid if he knew how to play London Statue Stop. He looked at me as if i were speaking gibberish. It wont be long until the day that you ask a kid about hide and seek and they will toss you a biscuit. How many kids do you see in your locality playing out in the evenings. None in mine!! Its only me and my sis and a few friends of mine...when we have the time.

So im just saying...We should take it easy...even if its for a few minutes...go crazy once in a while (without getting high on drugs or alcohol or any such idiocy. A thin line divides innocence and crazy) .
So next time you see a hill roll down from the top, hear how your echo sounds like frm a mountain, when the wind blows let your hair down and feel it, lie down on the grass and steal a glance at the stars ( If you stay in mumbai, you wont see any...but try anyways...), spin so hard and suddenly stop and feel that dizziness tht gives you a high no drug on this planet can, sit on a swing...swing it hard and when its on its maximum swing let go of the swing and "Fly" off and scoop that huge chunk of icing off your uncut birthday cake. Steal whatever spurts of innocent happiness you can cuz however obvious it may seem, you have one life. Enjoy it.

And i never say ANYTHING...Until i mean it!

take care!!
:)

The Parent Trap

Am i treading in troubled waters?? Naah...
(Boy...i am so screwed!)

And this one's a bit long...you have been warned...



Well Hello...again!

Here I am with another anecdote from my ‘very interesting’, admirable, attention-attracting, motivating, appealing, moving ,exciting, fascinating, mesmerizing, thrilling, gripping, compelling , riveting, enthralling and not to miss outrageously amusing life.

(Whew!! I’ve poured my entire vocabulary in these two lines! Good then, you can learn new words from here…then you cant say my blog’s a waste of time!!).

Its great to know people like what im doing here and its even better to know that finally people are laughing 'with' me and not 'at' me.(Whatcha sayin??You're laughing at me? Heheh...very funny! Go ahead then! lol-Laugh out loud!)



Anyways...Lets Rap...



Well last time I said parents are the last people you should take on 'trying' occasions- such as examinations, interveiws...the works...You take 'em along for 'moral' support and end up...well...loosing yourself.

[Please note that I am choosing my words carefully...v e r y carefully].

You are already anxious, tensed and ready…to run out whenever you get the chance. Your parents are even more anxious and exceedingly tensed and ready to sprint from the vicinity as soon as you enter your examination/interview room. Dunno bout your parents…but my parents really get worked up during my examinations (Why? Wish I knew…on the other hand…I'm fine without knowing…) especially my dad.

Picture this…

My 12th std board examinations. First paper- English.

I wasn’t nervous…at all. Not because it was English, strangely, I wasn’t nervous for any of my exams (Not even Physics!). I got up at 8.30 in the morning, the exam started at 11.00 am and the center was a half an hour drive away from our house- I had plenty of time for a quick revision.
Dad, as my mom told me, got up at 5.00 am. It seems he was waiting for the newspaper. This was weird. Dad never got up so early except when he had to catch a flight or something. I was too busy getting ready than thinking about my dad’s break in routine.

10.00 am, time to leave. I am slowly munching on my mom’s yummy Pohe. Dad is not eating. After mom pleads (and yells) does he have a bowl of cornflakes. After gulping his food, he sits and reads the newspaper for the fourth time. I close my book and continue eating

“Why did you close it?? Are you prepared?” he asks me.
“What? English? Oh yeah…” I continue eating.

He sits down next to me, twiddling his thumbs. I know what’s coming next…

“Check and recheck your paper at the end, draw a line after every answer, write neatly. Take as many supplements as you want…but write neatly! And don’t…”
“…leave the examination hall till the final bell rings… I know, I know!! Chill out dad” I finish
. “ I don’t like your attitude, it means you are not taking your exams seriously.”
“Dad these are board exams…it doesn’t get any serious than this!”
“Are you tensed?”
“Me? No way”
“Good.”

Its time to leave. Dad is pacing up and down the gallery. He’s coming to drop me to the exam center. Mom’s giving me the traditional 'Dahi-cheeni' for good-luck. I open my mouth for the yummy & sweet yoghurt.

“Do you want more betaa?”
“No mum…but I think dad needs it more than I do!”

We both laugh. Dad gets angry…

“We are getting late…!”

We take an auto rickshaw to the center. In the auto, Dad performs a ‘surgery’ on his mobile phone, opening it up, cleaning all the small parts in it and putting it back together.
We reach well in time. We are surrounded by kids doing their last minute revision. I, to much of Dad’s annoyance, am not revising.

“Why aren’t you revising?
“I'm prepared dad…”
“You’ve done everything”
“Yup…everything I could”

Wrong answer…

“What do you mean by ‘could’?”

A group of seven kind stand in front of us in a circle, poring over a textbook asking random questions. At every question they ask, my dad shoots a glance at me…expecting me to know the answer.

“Who’s the author of …”

“Who’s the poet of…”

“What was the reason behind…”

A very frantic looking girl asked ,” What’s the difference between a noun and a verb?”

“You’ve gotta be kiddin me!"I speak in an undertone. Dad hears me.

“Do you know it?”
“Dad…puhleeze!”

The bell rings, it’s just a warning bell.
I'm as cool as a cucumber. Dad’s a nervous wreck.
He wishes me luck and leaves.

Students are clearing off, leaving for their rooms. My room is on the ground floor. I put my bag in and come out again. I glance around, sneaking a look at the other parents with their kids. Some were advising their kids just like my dad was advising me. Some were un-concerned. Half of the kids didn’t bring along their parents.

I spotted a peculiar looking girl sitting on a bench with her mom. Who was more nervous? I don’t know. The girl was almost in tears shuffling around what looked like 5 kilograms of papers and books. Her mother (I could tell so because of the clear resemblance), wearing a formal business suite, was talking on the cell phone, carrying 8-12 files and shuffling through a official looking, leather bound book - near hysterics- and it clearly had nothing to do with her daughter’s examination.

“Poor girl” I thought.

The bell rings. As I turn towards my class, I hear a car door slam. A kid was running in from the gate, with 3-4 books in his hand, in full speed. Running equally fast was his father.

The boy, I guess, had to go up the stairs so he increases his speed. His dad follows suite.

I hear the boy thundering up the stairs. The guard stands in front of the running father’s way as parents aren’t allowed inside the premises.
The father was running in top speed and seeing a sudden obstacle (the guard) standing in front of him, makes a sudden U-turn and without stopping runs back out of the gate!!

I laugh…So does dad.

Where did he come from??

“I thought you left”
“No…not yet. Why aren’t you going inside?”
“I was just leaving.”
“Good luck and All the best”
I smile, “Thanks dad”

I am happy. I'm better off than most of the people here.Dad’s not tensed anymore (for the time being…)
Now for that English paper…

****************************************************************************
I slam the door, and tell Mom,

“This is the last time Dad is coming with me for an exam."

I see dad laughing.

3 months after my boards. I had just come back from Belapur (On the outskirts of Mumbai) after giving my AIEEE exam, which I was compelled to give. I gave it (in the words of my father) “to see the level of difficulty in all India exams”. But after what had happened to me in the morning…Ahhhh!

We were late. Really late.
Still, dad insisted to go by train

“You are going to miss the exam, go by taxi and come back by train” Mom said.
“Arrey, trains are the fastest mode of transport in Mumbai. We are going by train.”
“Do what suits you then.” Mom says, giving up.

We reach Kurla station by rickshaw. My dad was insisting that we take a bus till there! After me making quite a scene at the bus-stop did he oblige to my ‘request’.
It was 10.00 am and the exam started at 11.00am. Reporting time was 10.45am. The ticket line was half a kilometer long.
I was the nervous wreck this time. There is a lot of difference in not wanting to give an exam and not being allowed to give an exam. We get the tickets at 10.15 am.

“How much time does it take to reach Belapur by train?
“You’ll reach in time, don’t worry” Dad says, avoiding my gaze.

Not good…

We can see a train moving in towards the platform. It hardly halts for 10 seconds. Its ‘overly-over crowded’. I don’t even get to see the compartment. We miss the train. Its 10.30am by the way…

“I'm going to miss the exam…I know it…”

My friend calls me up on dad’s phone.

“Where are you” she asks
“You don’t wanna know…”
“Shut up and tell me…”
“Kurla”
“WHAT!? You know the exam is starting in…”
“…half an hour…I know…”
Not knowing what to say, she says, “Well...Umm...All the best”
“Yeah…if I reach there…thanks!”

Another train comes in. I'm ready to pounce in no matter what. So is dad.
The train stops, we push ourselves in. I get in the ladies compartment. Dad couldn’t get in the gents compartment, so he gets in the luggage compartment.

Wrong decision

The luggage compt. carries luggage (Duh!), fruits and vegetables' vendors with their wares and other stuff.
Today’s special?
FISH.
Dad is a vegetarian.

Uh oh…

He can’t stand the odor of fish. So he very promptly jumps off!! The train is moving. My insides go dry. I'm spluttering like a gold-fish out of water. He is standing on the platform. Smiling and waving at me!

“Why??!!” I shout

Dad not accompanying me wouldn’t have been a big deal. It was a big deal then because I did not know where the exam center was!

“Why does it always have to be me!!??” I cry out.
Its 10.45am

A kind lady lends her cell phone to me (I didn’t have one then….). I call dad. I couldn’t get thru to him for the first ten minutes, when I finally do, his message to me was short.

“Get off at Nerul, one station before belapur”

I was left hello-ing.

Its 11.00 am and I'm at Nerul waiting for dad. I see him getting of a train and both of us run full throttle to the exit.

“Don’t talk just run” Dad said when he saw me open my mouth demanding an explanation.

We take an auto and reach the exam center at 11.15am.
There was a tall staircase in front of me. Parents of other kids were standing on both sides.
Many of them shouted,

“Run Run…!”
“Go...Fast….!”
"Hurry up..."

It felt as if I was running in a marathon. I pictured myself running in slow motion…up the stairs…halfway through…I was winning…until…

I fell.

I bruised a knee. I could hear gasps behind me. I hobbled on, cursing the stairs to my allotted room.
I wasn’t the only one late that day. So it wasn’t a big deal after all.


“Don’t ask me how the exam was” I said when I saw dad after the exam.
“I'm not asking” he said.

We trudged along to the station again. I started complaining.
“I promise you, this is the starting piont, we’ll get an empty train.”

The train stopped at the platform. Dad went of to the gents compartment and me to the ladies’. It wasn’t empty, I didn’t get space to sit. But I could breathe.

Famous last words

At Nerul, I swear the entire population of Mumbai got in that compartment. I was pushed against the wall and I had no idea where I was. I remember myself standing near the doorway on the left. After 3 stations, I was standing on the right hand side door. Totally squashed.

3 stations left to Kurla…

I had to make my presence felt. I started shouting.

“Mujhe kurla par utarna hai!” (I have to get off at Kurla!)

No one listened. There were kids shrieking, women shouting, fighting and yelling.
Hell would be better I thought.

Finally at kurla, I was pushed out (A few aunties were very kind to do the pushing part.).
I fell on my knees on the station…

“Land!!” I cried “And I'm alive!!”

A few people actually thought that I had fallen down so they help me up. I see dad and we frantically search for the exit.
We came out of the station. Dad says,

“There’s the bus stop. C’mon”

I give my dad a piercing stare (and no, I'm not smiling….)

“Don’t even think about it…”

We go home in an auto rickshaw. Alive.