A Palabra of Pride... and a Subway Sandwich.

So I woke up a few days ago, with this strange need to eat a sub sandwich. All I could think about was "God, I need to have a sub today". The Subway adverts added to this queer temptation. So it was decided, a veggie delight from Subway for lunch. Final.

It was one of those days, where all you want to do is curl up and indulge in some comfort food, watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S reruns and basically do nothing productive. The day was so 'blehsome'. It was cold. I didn't feel like cooking or reading or even watering the plants. I had thoughts about my life being so sad, useless and pathetic. The only thing that could make it all better was a parmesan-oregano breaded 'Veggie Delight Sub'- slathered with mayonnaise and black pepper yogurt with a dash of mustard and a hint of south-west sauce. Thinking about the sub made me feel so good that I called up our nearest Subway store, a kilometer away from our home, asking them to deliver my sub the way I wanted it.
After what seemed like eternity, but was actually 45 minutes the doorbell rang and a chorus of "Hallelujah" erupted in my head (the happy hallelujah not the Jeff Buckley version). I skipped to the door and there was the Subway guy with my "the-best-thing-that-will-happen-to-me-all-day-awesomesauce" sub. After paying him, I skipped to the kitchen, tore off the wrapping just to find an abysmally thin, not too delightful, sub.

This is supposed to make me feel good about myself? Really?

Curious, I parted the the sandwich open to find no sauce except for a measly dollop of south-west  and a smudge of black pepper yogurt. The absence of veggies in the veggie delight was not pleasing wither. (Is this what you call irony??) All I could see was lettuce, a few tomatoes and a single sorry cucumber slice. No olives, no pickles, no Jalapeños . I could have gotten a better sandwich at any street side sandwich shop. I was crushed. 

I don't want to sound neurotic or anything, but when you put so much thought, imagination and emotion into a sandwich and it doesn't turn out the way it should,  it is upsetting. And if you're a food lover, it's apocalyptic. 

So I'm sitting in a post-apocalyptic shock with the WMD sandwich (Weapon of Mojo destruction) in my hand. Without giving it too much thought I called up Subway, stating that I was very upset with the sandwich that I was sent. 

Me: I am very upset with the sandwich that I was sent.

Subway: Why? 

Me: There are hardly any veggies and none of the sauces that I asked for. Its not what I wanted.

Subway: We don't put sauces in sandwiches we send for delivery.

Me: WHAT? That's absurd!

Subway: Yes, the sandwich becomes too soggy.

Me (Anger rising): So you'll send me a dry sub?

Subway: It can't be dry.

Me (temper rising): I'm telling you it is....

Subway: "It is" not possible.

Me (Temper off the hook): So will you believe me when I bring the sandwich down to the store and show it to you?

Subway: Yes come anytime you wish.

Me: (Too angry to say anything, I hang up)

Fuming, I start to change out of my PJs to my street clothes. "You chose the wrong person to mess with Sub-boy". You should not pull a  tiger's tail or mess with a hungry girl with a ruined sandwich.

While looking for my wallet, I realized something.  A voice in my head took over. 

 Voice: So what if you go to Subway? You show them the sandwich and they fix it. They put a dollop of mayo and other sauces. Then what? Are you telling me you're going to go all the way to Subway for mayo and mustard?? Is that what you're saying.?

Me: No. I'm going for the olives, jalapenos and pickles as well.

Voice: Its not about the pickles!! Do you have any idea how stupid you'll look? Right now after that phone call. you were the crazy-neurotic-psycho sandwich girl who didn't get enough mayo on her sandwich. When you go there, they'll be able to put a face to that name. 

Me: But if I don't go, they win.

Voice: *Facepalm*

Then I slowed down. Will they laugh at me if I go? Will i come across as crazy?
Voice: Yes you will.

Me: Aah shut up!

It was a matter of pride. I knew the guy at Subway told me to "come anytime you wish" because he thought I won't come all the way down to the store for such a petty issue. Its just sauce after all. 

It all came down to Mayo and Mustard.

And Jalapenos, Olives and Pickles.

I was in a daze contemplating about the issue in hand. And before I knew it. I was at subway.

There was this huge line of people waiting for their subs. And there was me. I stood outside the store for a few moments and then made a dash to the ATM next doors. 
"Ok... lets not fret now.... I want what I want, and I want a decent sandwich!" Keeping my breathing steady and bracing myself I exited the ATM and  entered the store. 


Spotting a guy manning the phones I went up to him and said, "Hi, I just called. I want my sandwich fixed."
Since I'm a good people-face-expression-reader, they guys there were either:
a) Not expecting me to come
b) Ashamed that they thought I would'nt come
c) Had no clue about my sandwich or my call or
d) Were born with bewildered expressions on their faces.


Long story short... (Oops too late!) They PROFUSELY apologized for the trouble they caused. And loaded my sub with all the veggies a poor 6 inch sub could handle. And Oh, there was Mayo and Mustard. Lots of it.


Moral of the story: You want something. Go get it. It doesn't matter how stupid you look in the process, because the end result is delicious. :)
Don't believe me? Well this picture proves it. 

See y'all next time!