The Birthday Blog.

I started this blog when i was 18 years old. Tomorrow, I turn 23.

23.
(And, yes.... this time I did the math.)

So, you may think how freaked out, shit-scared I am about growing up and all. I'm saying that because most of my posts are about the perils of grown up life and growing up in itself. Well, the thing is, when I was little I had this thing I believed in till quite a long time. Till I was 11 actually.
I always thought people never grow up. Parents are born parents and their purpose in life is to take care of their kids. Children remain children forever and go to school forever. 12th...13th...14th....500th grade. Yeah. Lame... I know.
The 'real deal' came as a rude shock for me. All my plans, ideas, my entire perception about life itself just fell through the roof. Out the window. Across the yard. Beyond the horizon. You get my point don't you?
So, these posts I write are mostly for myself (and my 4-5 followers) to constantly reassure myself to hang in there and calm down. I'm acting like my own counselor. And I think it works sometimes.  [Okay, now you think I'm a crazy person. Perfect.]

So yeah, tomorrow is my birthday. It used to be such a big deal when I was in school. New clothes, sweets for the class and teachers, party in the evening at home, the Black-forest cake from Upper Crust, kids from around the block, playing hide and seek at night. Now I'm sitting at home, next to my parents, watching "Bade Acchey Lagte Hai" and writing my blog. (Ram Kapoor and his on screen wife are in Australia by the way,Still haven't seen one decent authentic Australian this entire week!)  
Our teachers used to ask us to make a birthday resolutions. I remember my resolutions would always be related to studies or scoring more marks. I never really made a 'special' effort to study, so all that went waste. My resolutions now are more like to do lists.

"I resolve to buy a bar of dark chocolate tomorrow"
"I resolve to eat no more lauki this week"
"I resolve to watch at least two episodes of Grey's Anatomy tomorrow"

Okay, maybe these aren't your conventional resolutions. But they work!  And then I don't have to go about saying "Resolutions are meant to be broken" ladidah.
So my resolutions are:
1. No more Ice cream, only Frozen Yogurt. Doesn't matter if buying it will burn a hole of the size of Cambodia in my wallet every time.
2. Cut down on my laptop time. Nah. Scratch that.
3. Exercise more regularly Now that dance classes are over, need to pay attention on that.
4. Clean out closet.
5. Study.
6. Work on the above points after new years.
Done. Phew.

So imma go sleep. Last bit of maturity can just take a hike.
Peace out peeps!

*An interesting thing that happened today at breakfast*
Dad, Rati and I at the dining table discussing birthdays.
Me: I've stopped being excited about birthdays altogether. I'm growing old.
Rati: Me too yaar. Not so appealing anymore. What about you dad? What did you do when you were   young?
Dad: We never had this concept of celebrating stuff except for festivals. I remember we used to get channas in school on my birthday (Children's Day). I started celebrating birthdays and wedding anniversaries only after your mom and i got married.
Rati: Thank God. 'Cuz celebrating your wedding anniversary in your childhood would've been really weird.
Dad: *mental face-palm*

Okay. Had you been there, It would've been funnier.
LAUGH. I order you to. Birthday rules!!
Yeah.
 \m/

One for my Teachers

I was a strange kid.

No. Not kidding. I was really weird. 

*

4th Grade.

Hindi class. 

We all just finished a Hindi class test. Our teacher Mrs. Vandana Joshi had a surprise for us. 

"I won't be checking your copies today, you all are big kids. You can swap notebooks and check your partner's copies. And, you can use pens to check. The correct answers are on the board."

The whole class erupted with joy. We could use pens! In class 4, that was a BIG deal. I swapped my notebook with Nisha, my partner. I remember neither of us being great in hindi,  (at that time at least).  

So, seeing that Nisha was far from scoring top marks (Sorry Nish!), after every mistake I circled, I'd write a note of encouragement or drew a smiley face. Nisha was doing the same thing in mine; as I too was nowhere nearing average scores. We both peeked in our respective copies and saw what we were doing. In order to out-do the other ... our remarks and cartoons started from cute, to encouraging, to downright pathetic...

"Don't worry..be happy".

"This is not the last test, you'll score next time!"

"Live and let live"

"Every dog has its day..."

We scribbled and scribbled. In the end there were more remarks than test-material. We, really proud of what we had done, went to Vandana ma'am to get the 'test' signed. Waiting for praises to shower on us, we saw her jaw drop.

Result: We were sent to the Sr. Kg class next door. Vandana ma'am sent us to observe and learn how to behave and stay there till we'd learnt something. 

What I learnt: Never enroll yourself in the same school your sibling goes to. That was Rati's Sr. Kg class. The minute she saw me walking in, the little dweeb had to go, "Minnnnnnieeeeeee!!! That's my sister!! What are you doing here? Are you punished? Look my sister and her friend got punished!!" 

I never heard enough of it.

*

Now that I think about the things I did and they way I used to act, I feel stupid. I was strangely inquisitive and I had to touch everything! It was like an obsessive compulsion for me to know stuff. My repertoire boasts of breaking cameras, stopping escalators, messing with show pieces, casually wandering off somewhere and 'forgetting' to come back home... But the reason behind all these antics was just one- I was inquisitive and I loved to observe stuff. Very "Ooh, what does this button do?!". Everything I did was always with some good intention but they never always turned out that way.I feel sorry for the people who put up with me- My parents and my teachers. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank them for putting up with my weirdness. Well, there was little that my parents could do... after all I was their child, so they had to live with my eccentricity. But I'm amazed how my teachers put up with me.

I was the kid who chatted with people in the middle of class, who skipped and did not walk to class, who put her hand up to answer  and then forget what the question was, who would completely zone out and would stare into space. Yup, that was me... till 9th grade. There was so much going around me I found it hard to concentrate on one thing happening inside class. Ugh. 

I was always in trouble especially with Aruna ma'am (my Science teacher till class 5. I think she taught us biology in class 6 too), Vandana Ma'am (Hindi), Noopur Ma'am (English, History/Civics/Eco), Ashu Ma'am (Hindi- higher classes), Uma ma'am (Maths), Anup Sir (Chem), Alka Ma'am (Physics),... Parthiv Sir (Games)... Okay  lets just say I was trouble for everyone. 

*

Dipali ma'am, our librarian took us for our first field trip to Mt.Abu. It was a 10 day trip. 10 days with 3rd graders. We drove her crazy and she would scream her lungs out at us! But she'd also tend to our injuries (Yeah, that would be me again... i fell off  trees, scraped myself a dozen times and had volcanic nosebleeds) and would sing "Itnee shakti hame de na dataa..." for us at night. Even now when I hear that song, I think of Dipali ma'am. Yeah, Mt. Abu was a memorable trip.  

(Now I also understand why she would sing that song... she needed all the "shakti" she could get!)

*

But all the mistakes that were pointed out to me and corrected; and all the encouragement I got from  my teachers made a huge difference in my life. I may have been a messed up kid, but i was really sorted as a teenager- which is actually when most people go crazy. No one was harsh on me... but they weren't too easy on me either and frankly, I prefer that because I'm happy the way I've turned out. My teachers have really helped me (knowingly/ unknowingly) to become what I am. 

Even during college. I have a great relationship with my teachers (even now). I was never disrespectful to any of my teachers. It would be all fun and games. From swapping food with Anil Sir to pointless arguments with Hegde sir, from gossiping with Meghna Ma'am to cracking jokes with Goldin ''saar''. 

After a spell of non-attendance, I turned up to college one day and my post-grad teacher Jai Ma'am  said, "Thank God  you turned up today, this place was getting really dull without you around!" And that made my day... !!

So this is for all my teachers... 

Sorry for being an absolute annoying-pain-in-the-neck and thank you for everything :)

Happy teachers day!! 

                                                                  

 *

Third year BSc. 

Mithibai College

Papiya Ma'am was collecting her notes from the table in the lab.

Sowmya, Palak and I were standing outside the lab. Peeking from the door.

Sowmya: Should we ask her? This feels weird. 

Palak: I don't think people do this, usually.

Me: Oh, Come on! It'll be rude, if we don't. And it won't be right.

Ma'am came outside the lab and gave us a searching look.

Sowmya: Ma'am its your lecture.

Ma'am: Yes, yes. I'm coming to class. Go on. I'll be there.

None of us move.

Palak: (Looks at me..) Ma'am we..um...

Me: (Blurting out) We want to watch a movie. We were wondering if we could bunk your class.

*Silence*

Ma'am: (Coming out of her initial shock, since when have students started taking permission to bunk class?) Absolutely not. You're sitting for my lecture.

And she practically steered us back to class,while Sowmya muttered "Devyani and her great ideas..."

With 15 minutes for the lecture to end and 20 minutes for the movie to start, Ma'am asks us, "Which movie?"

"The Dark Knight" we say in unision.

"Ok. Mark your attendance and go." 

Marking our attendance and giving the others smug looks we fly off to the movie hall. 

*

Old and New

So we shifted houses last week. Nothing great, we just came down to the 5th floor from the 7th in the same building. We've changed places 3-4 times, we've changed cities and even Countries. But shifting from the 7th to 5th floor has been the most challenging thing ever.

You tend to take it lightly. 'Cuz in the end, its just 2 floors down. So you leave everything till the last moment. Then suddenly the new occupants arrive out of the blue, with all their stuff and you need to move out asap; a week before you actually intended to move. Its CHAOS.

Between all this chaos while packing and moving, you come across these tit-bits that are of no use but you have this clingy feeling towards it. I hate this clingy-ness and this feeling of 'oh-what-if-I-need-this someday-and-don't-find-it"? And for some reason, i was not clingy to anything. After all if you don't get rid of the old stuff, there will be no place for the new. There was just one problem.

MY father. The king of Cling.

He was like Kreacher from Harry Potter. Everything that i would throw out he would somehow smuggle it back into the house stating some or the other use. From old wires ("What if I need it for the music system?"), to shirts ("This is pure Australian cotton, i can use it for yoga !!"), from books and magazines... 8kgs of them ("What do you think i'm going to do after I retire? Read these of course!"), to pen caps ("You always keep losing pen caps, keep them together and then you can replace these with the lost ones"), from crusty battered bags ("Ah! I'll keep the phone and electricity bills in these" ) to broken radios ("It's not broken. Wait I'll fix it.").

All this stuff did go, but not when he was around. (Don't tell him though).

The more he kept stuff, the more stuff I threw out. We opened our box bed, which we didn't touch, ever since we came to Mumbai 7 years ago. Boy oh boy kid we pack some junk! A Broken kid's accordion, a remote controlled car, my old video game, more and more and more books! Mountains of sarees, huge carpets and thick, knobbly, wooly blankets. After throwing out most of the stuff, I looked around and spotted the huge mound of blankets.

"These, have to go!", i said pointing at the blankets. "They take up space and you don't need them in Mumbai anyway."

Mom grabbed a bundle of soft pink blankets. "I'm not throwing these ones, they're very expensive and they're in a good condition."

Sensing the finality in her tone, I went for a set of revolting brown and orange blankets.

"And these? Throw these"

"These were given to us as a wedding gift, but I guess we can throw them away now" Mom said a little hesitantly.

The last two blankets will very thick, white, had some painted designs on them and were very heavy. So i dragged them out and said, "These are going. I've said it. Bas, Enough."

"You can't throw these", Mom said.

"In God's name, WHY?"

Pointing to dad she said,"Ask him".

"Because," Dad said in a wistful voice, "My mother made them for me with her own hands. She stuffed it with cotton and stitched it herself. And painting was so expensive back then but she still got it painted for us."

Mom was smirking at me. She knew all along. Cheeky.

Trying to act unabashed and to fill in the awkward silence, I start rummaging through whats left in the bed. I find a heavily chewed book (No, we did not own a dog when I was a kid, but we did have Rati, you'd never know the difference.)

It was called, "A book about Me!", a Dr. Suess book. After some time i find myself smiling away while reading that book. It was a fill-in-yourself kind of a book. I must have been 5 years old when i filled it. Some of the things I wrote we're quite funny. For instance,

* I wanted a pet dinosaur

*I was "11 centimeters" tall. (I wasn't 11 cms tall, I just wrote I was!)

*I wanted to be a nurse when I grew up (Now, that's news!)

*In the "draw a picture of yourself" part, i drew myself with blonde hair.

* In the ''how many teeth do you have? part" i wrote 12.

*Rati had colored all over the book, distinctly outside the margins... clearly indicating she had no future in the fine arts.

It's the memories that makes you all clingy and weird. We can associate everything and anything with some kind of a memory. And we find reasons for keeping stuff with us so that we are constantly reminded of what it was like. I have a knack of doing that. Who doesn't like to re-live old times? For instance, I have kept all the letters that people have ever written to me. I love reading them again and again. Looking at it on the flipside, if you just keep hanging on to these old memories you're not making room for the new and possibly better ones. The question is where do we stop? Where do we draw the line? The answer- you'll know. In time, i guess, we learn to move on. Life is all about moving forward isn't it?

So the book stayed so did my signed Old DPS uniform, my first DPS Blazer, my Wilson Primary School t-shirt and yes, so did the blanket. We brought everything down with a LOT of effort, re-assembled the bed and started putting things back. And then ... *CRACK* the bottom part of the box bed gave way and broke.
"Oh no! Of all the times it could break, it chooses to break now!" Mom exclaimed, fretting about the all the stuff that has no place to go.

"You remember we bought this bed when you joined DPS?" Dad said.

All I could say was, "Yay!! New bed!!".

Something had to go ;)

Growing up and all that jazz.

If you ask me, out of the blue, anytime how old I am, It'll take me a few minutes to answer. Its something involuntary. It's like I'm not just telling you how old I am, I'm realizing that fact too.
Something like-
XYZ: So, how old are you?

Me (Thinking....thinking....Realizes): 22....OH SHIT...I'm 22!!

Till a few weeks ago, I don't know why... but I was under the impression I was 21 and was turning 22 this year. So, my friend actually made me do the math. In an instant I had lost an entire year of my life and I had NO clue about it.

Stupid?? Yeah.

The once wise Meredith Grey (in her saner days) said, " We're Adults. When did that happen? And how do we make it stop?". I hear you Meredith. And i have no clue either. So, you can go on having fun with McDreamy, while I ponder over this one.

Its funny, because when we're kids our sole

aim in life was to grow up. "You wait till I grow up... "would be my favorite phrase. It'd be followed by stuff like, "..I'll vote for good people" or "...I'm gonna buy my own Dog, Mom." or "I'll pay for these broken plates, Dad!" or "I'm not gonna study anymore!" blah blah blah. I'd imagine adulthood to be sheer awesomeness. I'd have this golden aura around me and people would call me "the wise one". I imagined I'd have my own car. When people would ask me what I wanted to do when I grew up, I said, "I want to smoke!".

Its said when you turn 18, you're an adult, because you can get married and do 'big people' stuff. But 16 in the new 18 and 18 is the new 25, so I'm really lost with all the age thing. And if people were to give me any major decisions to make when I was 18, boy would everyone be screwed because I was a terrible 18 year old! The one thing i knew to do right was to look smart and stay quiet.

Now I'm a grown up (or that's what people like to believe). I still take my parents advise, I still break cutlery. I have no idea who I voted for (In my defense, I got my voters ID an hour before I had to go and vote, during the last elections), I highly disapprove of smoking , I've got my masters degree and I wan't nothing more in life but to study!

I've come to believe that we never grow up. There's no specific point in your life where a person will jump out of the crowd and say, "You're an adult! Congratulations!!" We just keep on changing. Its a dynamic thing. Evolution is the word, but at a more mental than physical level. (Don't freak out, we are not changing into apes again, though apes might be getting smarter than us!).

In our process of mental or spiritual evolution, we wish for a few things, we realize a few things and we are thankful for a few things that did or even did not happen.

Meta-physically speaking and according to quantum

physics, we are like particulates ....woah...okay, I'm just kidding :P None of that stuff. I have no clue about that. But you get what I'm trying to say, yeah?

But this thing, well it sucks.

And after reading this post, if your expression is like any of the following- ive got something to say to you:
(Left to right:)

1. The "I know...so?"- So you already knew what I'm talking about? Good for you.

2. The "The umm...what was this"? - Stop making that face. You look like Hannibal. And you'd want to check the title of the blog again.

3. The "Oh, i'll read it after my snooze"- Good Night. Thanks for sleeping on my blog.

4. The "Okkkkay. Next!"- Just go. Ugh.

5. The "OMG!! She's so awesome, i'm gonna cry."- Dude, Get a grip.

If your expression is not available on the list. kindly send me a photo and I'll get back to you asap.
How grown up is that?

Dad VS Me: EduKayShann

I have been really blessed to have studied out of great institutions during my student life (I've just suddenly realized that, now that my student life is coming to an end).

School: DPS Ahmedabad. (Delhi Public School- for all the morons who don't know what DPS stands for)

Jr + Degree College: Mithibai College, Mumbai

Post-Grad: The Institute of Science, University of Mumbai, Mumbai

I am really Happy with my educational line up. Its pretty impressive, actually and yeah I'm being a bit boast-y... but hey, its true! All these places have tremendous "name" value (Don't ask me what that is). And its really been a pleasure being a part of these institutions - The first two actually. The third one...ummm...? At Isc Mumbai... Its been just hilarious. More about that later.

My dad's school line up is pretty amazing too. His schooling years were spent at the local pathshaala, which I, for some time imagined to be under a banyan tree in some remote village of Uttar Pradesh. (I was right about the 'remote village in U.P'). His school was a very basic one, where the 'Masterji' was strict and would frequently whip the the boys with a 'sannti' ( an extremely thin cane). Furthermore, the student who was to face the wrath of the sannti, was made to choose from a selection of sannties or at times was made to go pick one out fresh from the tree outside the classroom. Dad says the thicker the sannti, the better...It hurt less. Yeah, I feel bad when I listen to his school stories. I always picture dad as the bechaara, quiet geek sitting in the corner and all he wants to do is study. I bet dad was the class nerd and homework was it favorite pastime.

Dad went on further to study at the AMU (Aligarh Muslim University) where he completed his Bachelors, masters and his Ph. D. Now that, is pretty awesome. He studied amongst the greats there. He met his guide who invited him to study in Australia and at Curtin University of Technology, Perth, he completed his Post Doc.

So why am i writing my dads biodata here? well its just a comparison his schools and the schools of today- my schools. And he feels students nowadays are in a way better position, as teachers are much better now.

Right...

Heres a conversation Dad and I had today over our schooling. Dialogue time!! :)

So here I am drooling over the computer, oogling at the new Canon SX30 IS (new line digicam) and begging dad to consider buying it for me.

DAD: Why do you want it? You already have an SLR?!

ME: Arrey! We need a new digi anyways, we'll give the old one to Rati. And My SLR has hardly any zoom. I can't take bird photographs when I'm on field.

MOM: On Field!! Tum bade on field jaa rahi ho!

ME: Its high time you accepted that fact mom. Its gonna be my job. Thats what I'm gonna do.

DAD: So you can identify birds?

ME: Of course I can! What do you think?!

DAD: Bachoo, You know who I studied with at the AMU?

DAD (AND I, Simultaneously): Dr. Salim Ali

DAD: Yes, he was the head of the Zoology Dept. Absolutely crazy about birds. Mad.

ME: Well, I'am crazy about birds too!

MOM: NO beta, you're just crazy.

ME (Giving a 'Mom...Please?' look to mom , then turning to dad): No i'm serious!

DAD: (Still going on about Dr. Salim Ali): what a great person! Hardworking, Intelligent and an absolute legend!

ME: Fine! The institute (my pg college) has a great alumni too!

DAD:(laughing) Who?

ME: (Proudly): Dr. Homi Bhabha.

DAD: Who?

MOM: Hehe... He doesnt know.

ME (Incredulously): Arrey Homi Bhabha...Bhabha! BARC!

DAD: Of course I know! Accha... From the institute?

ME: Yup!

DAD: Okay...Who else?

ME: Who else?! Is this a competition?

DAD: Bolo bolo...

Okay, however 'great' my college is, it is no match to AMU. Both of us knew that.

ME: I don't know.

DAD (Enjoying this now): 'Some great science person's name' studied out of AMU, he was my senior. (this was followed by 2-3 more names.)

ME: My college is 94 years old. (Smug smile)

DAD: HAH! My college was established in around 1750! WE have a board to prove it.

ME: So what?

DAD: One of the faculty members of AMU, later went on to be the Governor of Bihar.

ME: The person who started the EVS department in our college, was the Pro-Vice Chancellor.

DAD: Hahaha! Bas? We were taught by Dr. D 'Something' and Dr 'Forgot his name' - both amazing lecturers....something about Curtin Uni.... David 'Some person's' lecture. He could speak from 8am to 5 pm, with as few as 4 breaks, lasting 5 minutes each....Something about water and glasses'... recorded his lecture tapes... the Girl was called Victoria, and i borrowed the lecture tapes from her.

You listen to such lecturers talk and you can't help but wonder, how can they speak like that.

ME: (I'm tired of the best college competition...so have given up, and we all know ISc is nothing as compared to AMU, even now) : Hahaha! you listen to my teachers, you'll start wondering too. Not in the same way though... hehehe

DAD: You feel, as if you're transported to a separate world!

ME: Yeah, I i really wish that'd happen.

DAD: You feel as if you're out of this world.

ME: We feel out of our minds.

DAD: Such greatness!

ME: Such lameness.

DAD: Betaa...aise nahi bolte.

ME: Our Director said, "Welcome to Annual day ten thousand twenty" during his speech on annual day.

DAD: Insaan se galti hoti hai. People make mistakes.

ME: Thrice?

DAD: Oh God. Thrice?

MOM: Enough. Mini, clean your room.

ME: Mom, what about your college?

Mom's studied out of G.B Panth Univeristy of Agriculture and Technology, Uttarakhand- both Under and Post grad- Mass Communication in Agriculture.

DAD (Jokingly): Arrey, wahhan kahan kuch hoga.

MOM (Menacingly): I.said. Enough.

End of topic.

Mom wins.

Blehness

Thats the feeling I am going through right now.

Bleh-ness.

You know, its one of those days, you don't feel like doing anything. The thing is that I have been feeling this way since a long time. December, actually.

A few things one might do on such days:

1. Check Facebook. [Check!]

2. Check Facebook, every two minutes. [Check!]

3. Check email. [Check!]

4. Eat a gallon of chocolate ice cream. [Check!]

5. Think about all the weight you're gonna put on, eating all this junk. [Check!]

6. Eat a bowl full of Maggi and wash it down with a bottle of cola. [Check!]

7. Check Facebook and cyber-stalk a few people. [Check and check.]

8. Think about how dead life is at the moment. [In progress]

Sigh...

What i should be doing now, is study. I have finals coming up in a couple of months, two to be exact.

My situation is exactly this way. Imagine yourself in Switzerland, walking in the snow, between the snow covered Alps. You accidentally step on a twig... it cracks, you hear a roaring rumble and you feel and avalanche of snow coming towards you. You can see it now. You start to run, and you feel the ground give away beneath your feet. You have been walking on thin ice all along. And now you see the avalanche as well.

Oh, whatever. I'm gonna go watch Grey's Anatomy now.

Ciao!